Rebirth

I posted last week about the assault of spring. The ground was literally erupting with life and it wasn't gentle. Here is part of a painting about that feeling. I have been thinking about change and upheaval lately, both in the garden and in life. I have always embraced it and I know that change leads so often to good things, even when the change is disturbing. Sometimes I have to remind myself that giving birth is hard, whether it is literally the amazing act of giving birth to a new life, or simply the energy and faith it takes to disrupt the status quo. Rebirth, or Renaissance, is also hard, though we have more blueprints to guide us on our adventures if someone has gone ahead and blazed the way. This painting of rebirth is disturbing but also, I hope, beautiful.


Making a painting can also feel like being in labor. It can be painful and frustrating. Sometimes I feel despair, sometimes exhilaration. Maybe someone should bring me ice chips and hold my hand. The whole right half of this painting is a mess. I have painted and repainted a quince bush three times. I am experimenting with more atmospheric perspective and it is difficult to get it right. Who said we should do something that scares us once a day? How about doing something that scares us fifty times a day! That is what painters do.


The scariest part of all is that I have become attached to this little vole who is feeling overwhelmed by the spring upheaval. But I don't think she is the right mouse, with her stiff profile view, and I will probably have to "murder my darlings" and paint over her. Change is hard!